"If there is somebody kicking you in the ass, there's a reason they're behind you".
~ Ian Francis
I love this video by Clinton Anderson. So raw, so true, whether you want to admit that the vast majority of people are the haters. Clinton states, “people that are wealthy, people that are successful, have build great careers---they get hated on. The bum on the corner doesn’t get hated on because he is a bum”.
I would like to add one more--when people are happy, when people are proud of themselves, when people love themselves and exude confidence … they too get hated on.
Life is hard. We all have experiences and have survived a thing or two. It seems as though, there are two distinct paths people take through life---the self-growth and reflection path, and the unhappy victim of life path. The later is what creates and feeds the haters of this world.
I currently find myself in a stage of life where I am happy. I am content and proud of myself. I have been through my own experiences and challenges and have chosen the self-growth and reflection path. Was it easy? Hell no. Was it graceful at times? Absolutely not. It was hard, sad, lonely, two solid rock-bottom experiences, isolation, and depression. But looking back on my journey, I can say I did not take anyone down with me in the process. I worked through my demons and stand tall and proud now and offer my perspective to anyone that asks, or I see that needs it. Recent events have given me an eye-opening perspective to what I mentioned above—" when people are happy, when people are proud of themselves, when people love themselves and exude confidence… they too get hated on”. Clinton states, “people build you up, then when you get to the top, they will hate on you---fuck you, get back down here”. As if you don’t belong up there.
Apply this mentality to a relationship or a friendship in which you are with someone that is not happy. Not happy with where they are in life, regretting their life choices and path, they compare their challenges to yours and see they have gone through far less and yet are unhappy. When they realize this, consciously or subconsciously, the resentment and subsequently, the hating, begins. And this is where things get tricky.
It is a guarantee that you can open Facebook and immediately be bombarded with posts from the haters, or I like to call them, Facebook garbage. The people that post passive aggressive crap, the drama mongers, the mean hearted commenters. But when you have a person that is personally in your life in which you love, and think they love you too, the hating comes on in sneaky, manipulative ways. Subtle reminders of your past, meant to give you doubt—doubt in yourself, in your happiness, doubt in your confidence---fuck you, get back down here, you don’t deserve to be up there higher than me..I have less struggles and am unhappy, therefore you don’t deserve to be happy.
They work to break you down to build themselves up. They need you to be unhappy like they are because you are a constant reminder of how unhappy they are.
A very emotionally confusing, hurtful, rollercoaster when it is coming from someone you love. You become the problem and have no ability to help because you are the source of the bad feelings. Like a lot of things in life, its hard to see the forest when you’re standing in the trees. But step out and it’s clear again.
Like Fred Durst says, “now I know why you wanna hate me”…
It’s because I can applaud myself without the caveat behind it pointing out the flaws in which the haters need to hear or say to appease their insecurities….
I love my body..(but its not perfect because I have stretch marks and scars from surgery).
I am happy with a small friend circle..(but I had to cut out toxic people and it was painful to do so)
etc, etc..
If you need to label my confidence as arrogance, see my success as undeserving, you want to point out and remind me of all the challenges past and current that I face, as if I am not acutely aware, and when you see your antics aren’t working to tear me down, you chose personal attacks,--kindly fuck off and you will be removed from my life.
I am genuine, honest, speak up, challenge thoughts, and will defend myself and the ones I love. Take me or leave me as I am. I will still be here, happy and proud.
No one needs to justify their happiness, nor should they need to defend it, especially from the ones closest to them.
Surround yourself with the people that celebrate with you. The ones that don’t need to cut you down to feel strong. They are the sad, unhappy haters of the world
Love,
Dee
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